Crying Baby

Listening to a crying baby is very hard. Leaving a crying baby to cry is even harder.

This morning I am slightly traumatised by a Facebook comment from a new mum with a 14 day old baby. The post said ... "This ignoring crying baby stuff is very very very hard!!!"

There are two very divided parenting styles with regard to leaving babies to cry. The most old fashioned of those is that leaving your baby to cry for periods of time will teach them to settle themselves. That babies have a time in the day where they cry, and some people choose to leave them to cry-out. This may have a time and a place, and is dependent on the nature of your baby. I would certainly not advise any parent to try this with a newborn baby, I view this as baby abandonment, and find it completely heartbreaking.

Babies cry as a form of communication. They are trying to tell you something. Babies have many different types of cry, and it is hard to differentiate between them when you first bring the baby home. We believe that this was the case with Baby E, and we found that Baby E cried when he needed food, nappy changing, cuddles, winding, sleep, too hot, too cold, was over stimulated.

My brother came to the rescue when Baby E was born and recommended a fabulous DVD called Dunstan Baby Language. The Author is Australian Mum Priscilla Dunstan, who spent time listening to her baby crying and worked out what her baby was telling her. This is fantastic news for all new mums, as we need no longer get frustrated that we can do nothing about listening to our baby crying. The DVD gives short tutorials showing the different type of baby cries, and explains what they mean. It literally translated them into a language we all can understand. As soon as I watched the DVD it was as though life was so simple, and we knew exactly what Baby E was telling us. It really worked.

Dunstan Baby Language told us that Baby E was hungry. We found this to be a common occurrence, and only when we satisfied his hunger did we find that Baby E started communicating on other needs such as wind and finally tiredness.

It breaks my heart to think that new Mums are not listening to their baby's needs, and hoping that if they ignore the crying it will go away. Babies are people who deserve more respect than being ignored. I would not dream of ignoring a family member or work colleague who I found crying, so why would I not extend this philosophy to my own baby. Baby E was with me every day for nine months, my body comforted him, and nurtured him. He knew no pain, nor hunger nor loneliness. I want life outside the womb to be as enjoyable as I can make it, and so never let him cry, never leave him hungry, and never let him sit in a wet nappy (another thing I have witnessed new Mums doing).

Of course there are times with a newborn baby where things can be a little overwhelming, and you feel like you are about to crack. I can recall a few times in the early weeks where Baby E was crying, and I could not settle him. I was tired, and very emotional, I could not see clearly and so I would just start crying with dispair. I would cuddle Baby E and rock him gently, and will him to be calm, all the time crying! This is no help to a 2 week old baby, so my fabulous Boyfriend would always rescue me. He would let me sleep, and have some Daddy - Son time for a few hours. Baby E could spend this time with his Daddy, and I could have some Mummy time and get some well earned rest. Once we found and understood Dunstan Baby Language, this situation stopped occuring!

We spent time getting to know our Baby when he was born. Within a few weeks, we were tuned into Baby E's needs, and were able to give him everything he wanted. Baby E gets lots of cuddles, lots of love, lots of time playing with Mummy and Daddy. From birth he was a contented happy baby, who willingly played on his own from 3 weeks old, never cries when you put him down to sleep at night, and slept through from 8 weeks. Baby E loves to chatter and laugh, and he only cries as a form of cummunication when he is trying to tell us he needs something.